Tuesday, July 23, 2013

"American Mary" or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Soskas (again).



            Jen & Sylvia Soska, the Twisted Twins, two ladies from the Great White North with: beauty, film making prowess and a punk-as-fuck attitude. My indoctrination began a few years ago with "Dead Hooker In A Trunk". I loved this brutal, funny, absurdly gory, little cinematic middle finger so much that I couldn't stop talking about it! It remains one of my "go to" films when I need something to put a smile on my face (yeah, I know, that's sorta fucked up...) and lose myself in the violent fairy tale. I wasn't alone either, the indie scene, and, especially, the small press bloggers and reviewers, had universal praise and enthusiasm for the film and the ladies themselves.

            I didn't get to review "Dead Hooker" for NerdRemix (Derek got that screener I believe), but I got a copy eventually, and quickly became a fan (so much so, that when I did my whole "shilling for the indie films" product placement for my short film "Zombitch!", I was awed when Ken over at Killingboxx contacted the ladies, who then sent a DHIAT tee shirt and sticker--yeah, if you've seen it, the zombitch is wearing it!). So, yeah, I was suitably impressed--speaking of impressed, you know how they have The Fonz' jacket from "Happy Days" in the Smithsonian?? I think Sylvia's jeans from "Dead Hooker" oughta be in there too--they're much more epic! Who's with me??

            Fast forward a little bit, the buzz for their next feature, "American Mary" was just starting, I was getting frequent progress press releases via email, poster art and the like, and was pimping the shit outta it on social media and NerdRemix. It looked like it was gonna be amazing, everyone was talking about it, Hell, I even wrote a big, ass-kissy, post about Jen & Sylvia heading to Cannes to sell it! This was big news!!! I couldn't wait to get my filthy, fanboy hands on this fucker to review it!!

            I sent a few messages (and I'm sure the ladies got a shitload) asking for a screener and...nothing. Seriously?? What the righteous fuck?? Did they turn their noses up at us "small press" assholes?? I was kinda pissed...I thought they were "cool".

            At long last, I ended up picking up the UK blu-ray online (it released there a few months before the US) and sat down to watch it, already knowing I was going to hate it and expose it for a suck-fest!! Then I shot my, always barely coherent, video review...

            I have a confession to make, I let my pissy-assed-ness at not getting a screener cloud my review. I did, I freely admit it. It was a total dick move. People, for some reason, like my stuff because I'm fair and will call a turd a turd, even if a friend or favorite person made it. But I dropped the ball, and acted like a petulant little he-cunt. Honestly, my review wasn't all that terrible, but I wasn't fair and I knew it.

            Fast forward a bit more, and I chatted up someone who I'll only identify as "Director X". Director X said he had hung out with the ladies, and they explained that they simply weren't allowed by the distributor (or the head honcho, or who the fuck ever) to distribute screeners or something to that extent. So, me being me, and also in denial that I was a dickface, and also feeling inspired by another repeat viewing of "Dead Hooker", took another look at "American Mary".

            Ladies, I apologize. "American Mary" is an exceptional film. Katherine Isabelle was outstanding as the chilly, sexy, detached Mary Mason. The film looked slick, polished, and sharp yet still maintained that "indie feel". It's quite an accomplishment and marks a really cool, really well defined progression in your craft and you should be (and I'm sure you are) extremely proud of it. You didn't need me to tell you that, but, since I was a dick, I felt compelled to let you know. I stand firm on my "didn't like the ending" position, and you probably should have tried to get that Kardashian chick that looks like a dude to do some body modification on, but it's definitely lived up to the hype.

            There! I got my integrity back (who knew I had THAT?).


Send your hate filled missives, back-handed compliments, anti-establishment manifestos, and short films about Amish serial killers to: tom@nerdremix.com


  1. I can watch Jen doing the double foot drop kick on a loop from "Dead Hooker in a Trunk".

  2. You didn't get your integrity back. You lost it forever by being a fucking faggot about screeners.

    1. you're absolutely right Garth, I should have just been an anonymous nut-sack, spewing homophobic slurs on a blog! Now THAT's integrity!

  3. Thanx for this dude! I can't wait to see it!!